


I Can't Lose You

by kzvazquez



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cockles, Confrontations, Drinking, Drunk Jensen, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Jensen Ackles/Misha Collins, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Misha, Hurt Misha Collins, Jenmish, Jensen is a sweetheart, M/M, Misha Receives Hate Tweets, Protective Jensen, Protective Jensen Ackles, Wifes Mentioned, first ever fanfiction, night out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-01
Updated: 2017-03-01
Packaged: 2018-09-27 19:12:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10040696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kzvazquez/pseuds/kzvazquez
Summary: AU where they are out in a bar with the guys. Misha's been acting weird. Jensen corners him and forces him to tell him what’s wrong.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! This is my first ever fanfic. I write weird just FYI. I'm still working on my writing. I tend to write everything in a dialogue/script kind of way. Sorry if it's not like what you are used to. I actually just wrote this in like 2 hours. I had been wanting to write something with cockles, and today I was inspired. Anyways, I may write more, I don't know yet. I'm actually proud of this, though because I usually don't finish my stories. It's pretty short. Also, I apologize for any grammatical errors found. Well, I guess that's it. Enjoy!
> 
> Ps. Everything in the fic is fictional, and created by my imagination. The characters of the story are written as how I imagine them, they do not necessarily represent the true personality of the people mentioned. The plot/conflict in the story is as well fictional, and not based out of nothing as of my knowledge. Nothing in this fic must be taken/perceived as truth for under no circumstances.

Mark, Matt, Rob, Rick, Jensen, Jared, and Misha are in a booth in the left corner of the bar sitting in that same order. The music is loud, but not loud enough to keep them from having a conversation. They had been there for a couple of hours already, they went straight from set. Everyone seemed to be drunk. Everyone except Misha, and Jared noticed.

Jared: Hey man, you okay?

Jared places a hand in Misha’s right shoulder to get his attention. Misha who had been looking absently at the T.V. above them, turns his attention to Jared.

Misha: Huh? Yeah, yeah, I’m okay.

Jared: You sure? You don’t seem like yourself, you’ve been pretty quiet lately.

Jared gives a quick glance around the table. Everyone else seems absorbed in conversation. He turns his attention back to Misha who seems like he had followed his gaze around the table.

Jared: (Lowers his voice) is there something wrong? You wanna talk ‘bout somethin’?

Misha: (Fakes a smile) No, no, I’m fine, just tired I guess.

Jared: All right, man (frowning, but turning around to engage in the conversation taking place on the table)

Misha, who was sitting at the end of the booth, gives Jared a quick pat on his shoulder and excuses himself. He doesn’t notice Jensen’s gaze following him.

Misha had excused himself to go to the restroom. Instead, he steps out of the bar. The cold of the night hits him as soon as he walks out and it sends shivers throughout his body. He moves away from the door but remains close to the bar. He reclines against one of the walls and closes his eyes. 

A couple of minutes later:

…: Mish?

He doesn’t need to open his eyes to know who is calling him. He keeps his eyes closed.

Misha: Jensen?

Jensen: What are you doin’ out here, man. It’s freezing!

Misha: I just needed fresh air, you didn’t have to come. Go back inside, I’ll be there in a minute.

Jensen: Look at me.

Misha: (Sighs) Why?

Jensen: Please.

Misha: (Opens his eyes) Yes?

Jensen: What’s wrong? You’ve been weird since we got here. You barely touched your beer and have not said more than a few words all night.

Jensen steps closer with his eyes fixated on Misha’s. Misha breaks the gaze by staring at whatever is behind Jensen.

Misha: I’m just tired. Come on, let’s get you inside. You’re already drunk and the air is not going to help you.

Misha scoots away from the wall and reaches for Jensen’s shoulder as if to guide him to the bar again. Jensen steps back without breaking eye contact with Misha. Misha stops but breaks the eye contact, and instead lowers his head and stares at the floor.

Misha: Jensen, let’s go inside. (It sounds like he’s pleading)

Jensen: No. Tell me what’s wrong?

Jensen keeps searching for Misha’s eyes, until Misha finally looks back at him. Jensen gasps. Misha’s eyes look sad and full of hurt. There’s a pleading in them, as if asking Jensen to drop the topic.

Jensen: Mish?

Misha: Look Jen, I’m fine, like I said I’m just tired and you are drunk. Let’s get you inside.

It was true, Jensen was drunk. More than he cared to admit, but it still did not change the fact that something was wrong with Misha. Of course, Jensen being drunk was more stubborn than ever, so there was no way he was going to let Misha get away with it without telling him.

Jensen: I may be drunk but I’m not stupid. Don’t insult me that way.

Misha: I wasn’t tryin’ to insult you. I just don’t think there is really anything we should talk about right now.

Jensen: Of course there is! (He pauses) Fine, if you don’t wanna talk, then I will.

Misha: Jen…

Jensen: No. I’m worried, Mish. And I’m not only talking about today. I’m talking about the past fucking couple of weeks. You’ve been avoiding me, Mish. You barely talk to me. We don’t see each other outside set anymore (Jensen pauses for a moment) I miss you, man.

Misha’s gaze drops to the floor beneath them.

Jensen: You need to talk to me, man? I’m sick worried about whatever is going on in your head. What is so freaking bad that you didn’t even want to come today?

Mish: Jen that’s not…

Jensen: Save it, Jared told me.

Misha: But…

Jensen: How do you think I felt when Jared asked me what the hell had happened for you to not want to come today? I didn’t know what to tell him because I don’t know. I still don’t fucking know what the hell did I do for you to be acting this way. Trust me, I’ve been fucking going over and over the last weeks in my head trying to figure out what could have you acting this way.

Misha: Jen, I…

Jensen: Besides, you thought I wouldn’t notice? You thought I wouldn’t notice how you went straight to sit next to Jared at the end of the booth as soon as you got here? Avoiding me? How you’ve been focused on that damn T.V. all fucking night not even trying to fake being the least involved in whatever conversation is going on? How even Jared noticed something was off and asked you but you brushed it off? How you lied to him saying you were going to the restroom and instead got out of the bar? I thought you had left. I came looking for you still but I genuinely thought you weren’t here anymore.

Misha is not even trying to talk anymore. His gaze stays fixed on the floor.

Jensen: Say something.

Misha: I… I don’t know. I can’t.

Jensen: What? What is it that you don’t know? That you can’t?

Misha: Jensen, please.

Jensen is exasperated now. His drunkenness is almost gone. He is losing his patience. He is tired of Misha avoiding him. He aggressively pushes Misha against the wall again and corners him with both his arms. Misha gulps and meets Jensen’s angered eyes.

Jensen: We’re not leaving until you talk. I have all night.

Misha: I… Jensen… us… we can’t… not anymore… please.

Jensen: (Without hesitating) What? Why?

Misha: You have a family now. You just had the twins. This has to stop.

Jensen: You have a family as well. And my family started when I married Danneel. She’s fine with it.

Misha: You don’t understand! What kind of man would I be if I kept you away from your family? If I keep making you divide your attention between me and them? I can’t do that, Jensen. Not anymore. Your kids need you. The fans are right. I…

Jensen: Wait, what? You said the fans?

Misha: Huh… it’s nothing.

Jensen: What are you talking about? Tell me.

Misha: They are just some tweets I got a while ago, the twins had just been born.

Jensen: Aha, continue.

Misha: There were some fans that warned me to stay away from you now that the twins had been born. They said things like how selfish I was for wanting to keep you away from them just because I didn’t think my family was enough…

Jensen: Stop! Stop right there. Are you hearing yourself? That’s bullshit!

Misha: No, they are right. Even though I do believe my family is enough, I’m still selfish for wanting you.

Jensen: Misha, listen to me. They are not right! I love my family, and you love yours. But the love we have for them has nothing to do with us. Besides is none of their fucking business. Vicky and Danneel are the only ones that might have a word in this, and they are both really happy for us. (Jensen’s voice weakens) I don’t know how to function without you anymore, Mish. I need you in my life. We need each other.

Misha: Jensen…

Jensen: Tell me you don’t want me anymore and I’ll leave you alone. Tell me you don’t feel the same way I do. That you don’t need me anymore, and I’ll leave. But for God’s sake don’t tell me you’re going to throw away what we have because some people with nothing better to do say we shouldn’t be together.

Misha: I do want you, Jensen. And I do need you. (Misha’s voice comes out as a whisper, but Jensen is still able to listen)

Jensen: Then forget about this nonsense, please, Mish.

Jensen removes his arms from the wall and embraces Misha, curling him up in his arms. Misha hides his face in Jensen’s neck, placing his arms around his broad back, hugging him tightly.

Jensen: Is this why you had been acting so weird the past two weeks?

Misha: Yes… I tried to make you get mad at me by avoiding you, but…

Jensen: But instead I only worried about you.

Misha: Exactly.

Jensen: And you still thought I would let you push me away and not do anything about it?

Misha: I… I guess I tried.

Jensen: Mish… (places a kiss on Misha’s forehead) I love you, you hear me? You’re not getting rid of me that easily, sorry to disappoint you (chuckles, but his voice is still sad)

Misha: (Lifts his face to look at Jensen and gives him a tiny smile) I like that.

Jensen: Yeah, I know you do. (Gives Misha a peck on the lips) Come on, let’s get inside, I’m not drunk anymore and I’m fucking freezing.

They both start walking toward the bar again. Jensen keeps Misha tightly embraced all the way back to the door.

Misha: I told you. If you weren’t so stubborn we would have been inside half an hour ago.

Jensen: Shut your mouth. I’ll rather have us both freeze to death than let you act so weird for another day without telling me why.

Misha: Okay, I get it. It’s my fault.

Jensen: It sure as hell is. Don’t ever pull this shit on me again, you hear me? Whenever something is wrong, you tell me, all right? We talk about it, and we fix it.

Misha: Yes, sir. (There’s a hint of sarcasm in it that doesn’t go unnoticed by Jensen)

Jensen: (Stops walking and forces Misha to look at him by taking his chin and lifting his face toward his) I mean it, Mish. I can’t lose you.

Misha: I know, Jen. I can’t lose you either. It will never happen again, I promise.

Jensen: Good (Pulls Misha in for a kiss)

They are standing outside the bar, a few feet away from the door. The cold wind hurt like knives against their skin. But they don’t seem to care. They continue kissing. The kiss is passionate, but not in a sexual way. It isn’t desperate. It is full of need. Full of fear. With it, both Jensen and Misha are showing each other how much they had missed the contact. More than anything, they are proving each other how true their words were. How true their fear of losing each other is. How true their needed for each other is. Unsurprisingly, the kiss is enough to assure them that neither of them is going anywhere. In just one kiss, they reassure each other how true their love is. It is all they need, a kiss.

THE END


End file.
